Sometimes it hurts to follow Jesus

Sometimes it hurts to follow Jesus.

I have decided to follow Jesus. What a statement. A decision. One made in a moment to last an entire lifetime. A lifetime that is full of mountain highs and valley lows. A guarantee that you will try. Yes, TRY,  because ultimately that’s the best we can do. Try and try and fail and try once more. To be scrutinized for failing and to then become better from that failure. To swallow your pride. To resist temptation. To forfeit control, your own will, and your impulses. To be honest, it is a noble endeavor…. But what they don’t always tell you is that it’s a messy one too. No matter what it may look like on the outside, everyone is trying to find their way through that messiness. We have been warned that in this world there will be trials, trouble and tribulation. But don’t lose hope, because we are also told to take heart as Jesus Himself has overcome the world.

But what if take heart doesn't mean take on the spirit of invincibility… What if take heart means that it’s okay to struggle through the mess.

It’s okay to fail. It’s okay to royally screw up. 

Its okay to be tired. This one is the kicker because this is sometimes the root of Christian guilt. The idea that following Jesus is constant rainbows, butterflies and  a walk in wild flowers in a beautiful field. The idea that to be worthy to have a Christ-like life you must be the exact same as Christ. FALSE! No one could ever be the ultimate perfection that Jesus is and maybe not understanding that is what makes you so tired. So what if it’s okay to admit its tiring sometimes and that sometimes being so tired genuinely hurts. Thats okay! It’s okay to wonder why everything around you seems to be falling apart. It’s okay to hurt from disappointment and loss. It’s okay to hurt from watching others run their race without Jesus and seemingly still succeed. It’s okay to hurt from the doubt that creeps in. It’s okay to hurt due to people who have hurt you and to hurt from the pain you may have caused them. And it is absolutely okay to cry out to God from that hurt.

It’s okay to hurt because Jesus hurt. He cried out for deliverance. He hurt from betrayal. He hurt from fulfilling God’s will in spite of the world’s attacks. 

And that’s just it isn't it. Maybe it hurts sometimes to follow Jesus because at times it hurt to be Jesus. The Bible says that if we are to share in Christ’s glory we must also share in His suffering. Yet, the two have no comparison because the glory will far outweigh that suffering. 

So hold your head high. Fight the good fight. Give yourself some of that same grace that God has so freely given us. Because we know that we truly find our life when we lay it down. So lay down your plans, expectations, your fears of the future, your doubts, your loss, pain, betrayals and shortcomings. Lay them at the cross where they belong and cling to God’s promises. Take heart because He has overcome the world.

“I take pleasure in weaknesses, and in the insults, hardships, persecutions, and troubles that I suffer for Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” -2 Corinthians 12:10

How's your prayer life?

Someone recently asked me how my prayer life was and I responded with the typical “It’s good, but could be better!”

For the next few days after that conversation I had that question weighing down very heavy on my heart.

I wish I could say that my prayer life is one defined by consistent authenticity and audacious faith, but if I am being honest prayer is a struggle for me.

Prayer is one of the places I struggle the most in my walk with God. I struggle with slowing down long enough to pray. I struggle with finding a quiet place and getting alone. I struggle with praying big prayers with big faith. I struggle with being consistent with my prayers. I even struggle sometimes with following through with a promise I make to pray for someone.

What I realized recently though is that the place I may struggle the most in prayer is actually my expectancy of what God can do. I’ve discovered my biggest problem with prayer is that I just go through the motions. In my case, it’s not that I doubt God's power; it's just that I so easily fall into a pattern of checklist Christianity.

I make prayer a  task instead of a natural part of my relationship with Him. Instead of praying with expectation, I often find myself just going through the motions. I allow it to become more duty than devotion and delight. Prayer was never meant to be part of checklist or just a bunch of empty words tossed up in the air.  Jesus warns of this type of heartless, faithless prayer in Matthew 6:7: “And when you pray, do not heap up empty phrases as the Gentiles do, for they think that they will be heard for their many words.”

“Prayer without expectancy is prayer without power.”

We can always pray with expectancy, because God always hears and answers our prayers. It may not be a “Yes”, but it will always be what is best, whether we understand it or not. Tim Keller says, “God will either give us what we ask or give us what we would have asked if we knew everything He knows.”

Never forget that we pray to a God who works wonders (Psalm 77:14). A God who raises the dead and heals the brokenhearted (Psalm 147:3). A God who gives sight to the blind and strength to the weak (Isaiah 40:29). A God who is able to do far above anything we could ask or imagine (Ephesians 3:20).

Prayer is far too powerful to allow routine or religion to steal its’ effectiveness!

A Broken Heart is a Beautiful Blessing

Some of a single person’s darkest days fall after a breakup.

You risked your heart. You shared your life. You bought the gifts, made the memories, and dreamed your dreams together.... and it fell apart. Now, you’re back at square one and you feel lonelier than you ever have before.

No one begins dating someone hoping to break it off someday. The wiring in most of us has us longing for the wedding day. We’re looking, sometimes it feels frantically, for love, for affection and security and companionship and commitment and intimacy and help. After all, God seems to want most of us to be married (Genesis 2:18; Proverbs 18:22; 1 Corinthians 7:2, 9). But that doesn't mean it is easy...

1. It’s okay to cry — and you probably should.

Breakups almost always hurt. Maybe you didn’t see it coming, and the other person suddenly wants out. Maybe you were convinced it needed to end, but knew how hard it would be to tell them. Maybe you’ve been together for years. Maybe you love their family and friends. Without the ceremony and covenant, it’s not a divorce, but it can feel like it.

It feels like divorce for a reason. You weren’t made for this misery. God made romance to express itself in fidelity and loyalty — in oneness (Genesis 2:24; Matthew 19:9; 1 Corinthians 7:2–13). Dating that dives in too quickly or dumps too carelessly does not reflect God’s intention.

This doesn’t mean every dating relationship should end in marriage, but it does mean breakups will hurt. Sorrow in the midst of the severing is not only appropriate, but good. It’s nothing to hide or be ashamed of. God created you to enjoy and thrive in love that lasts, like Christ’s lasting love for his bride. So feel free to feel, and know that the pain points to something beautiful about your God and his undying love for you.

And if it doesn’t hurt, it probably should. If you can come in and out of romance without pain or remorse, something sounds out of sync. This doesn’t mean you have to be ruined by every breakup, but there should be a sense that this isn’t right — it’s not how it’s supposed to be. Hearts weren’t built to be borrowed. God needs to show some of us the gravity of failed relationships because of what they wrongly suggest about him and his love for the church.

2. Don’t try again too quickly.

 One of the worst and most popular mistakes is moving on to the next one too soon. Especially in the age of online dating and social media, we really don’t have to work very hard to find another prospect.

Affection can be an addiction. If you’ve been on dates, held hands, seen smiles, exchanged notes, experienced the sweetness of another’s attention and affirmation, you will want more. And the easiest way to find it is to rebound right away. But if we care about God, our witness, our ex, and our future significant other, we’ll wait, pray, and date patiently and carefully. It’s too easy to leave a trail of wounded people behind in our pursuit of a partner.

It’s a lie to think that you’re not moving toward marriage if you’re not dating someone right now. Sometimes the best thing you can do for your future spouse is to not date. If your history looks serial, you might need to break up with dating for a while. It can be a time to regroup and grow.

3. You may have failed, but God didn’t.

The relationship may be over because of a specific character flaw or failure. There are things about us — weaknesses or patterns of behavior — that may disqualify us for marriage with a particular person. But it does not nullify God’s grace to and through you.

Sin in relationships is some of the most visible and painful. As we let each other further and further into our lives and hearts, the sin is more likely to show itself and to cut the other person more deeply. As people come closer, and we need this in true Christian community, our sin inevitably becomes more dangerous. Our mess is more likely to splash onto others, and theirs on us.

But whoever has done the failing in your breakup, it wasn’t God. Because of Jesus, his promises never to leave or forsake you are true every moment and in every relationship status. If you are trusting in Christ for the forgiveness of your sin and striving to follow him and his word, God has never abandoned you, and he will never abandon you. God didn’t take a break from loving you in your breakup — even if you’re the reason it’s over. His purposes are bigger than your mistakes.

4. You are better having loved and lost.

You feel like damaged goods, like you’ve been ruined in God’s eyes or in the eyes of others. The hard-to-believe, but beautiful truth is that broken-up you is a better you. If in your sorrow you turn to the Lord and repent of whatever sin you brought to this relationship, you are as precious to your heavenly Father as you have ever been, and he is using every inch of your heartache, failure, or regret to make you more of what he created you to be and to give you more of what he created you to enjoy — himself.

When one prize is stripped away, we can graciously be reminded of how little we have apart from Christ and what he has purchased for us with his blood. He has become for us sanctification for the broken, and redemption for the lost and afraid  and affection and security and identity for the lonely man or woman after the end of a relationship. So even in the aftermath of a breakup we have reason to boast, as long as our boast is in everything Christ is for us (1 Corinthians 1:31).

In Jesus, God is always and only doing good to you. There’s no circumstance facing you that he’s not engineering to give you deep and durable life and freedom and joy. He loves our lasting joy in him much more than he loves our temporary comfort today. He’ll make the trade any day, and we can be glad he does. Know that God is doing good, even when we feel worst.

5.  Your Father knows your needs.

You’re probably questioning this in the wake of your breakup, but God does know what you need, and he’s never too slow to provide it. He might reveal things to you about the things you thought you needed. Or he might simply show you how much more you need him than anything or anyone else.

One way God provides for us through breakups is by making it clear — by whatever means and for whatever reason — this relationship was not his plan for our marriage. The heart of Christian dating is looking for clarity more than intimacy. This probably won’t taste sweet in the moment, but if you treasure clarity, breakups won’t be all bad news. We all know some of the news we need most is hardest for a time, but fruitful down the road.

Trust him to provide for you each day (or year) whether you get married or not.

6. Learn from love lost.

One of Satan’s greatest victories in a breakup is convincing a guy or girl, “It was all the other person’s fault, and I’ve already arrived as a future husband or wife.” The reality is no one — married or not — has fully arrived this side of glory. We are all flawed and filled with the Spirit, so we will all always be learning and growing as people and spouses — present or future.

After the emotional tidal wave has crashed and passed, take some time alone and then with close friends to assess where God’s carrying you — who he’s making you to be — through this. Identify an area or areas where you want to strive to be more gracious or more discerning or more faithful — more like Jesus — moving forward.

You won’t have many relational crossroads more intense, personal, and specific as a breakup, so it truly is a unique time for some hopeful, healthy introspection, checked and balanced by some other believers and friends that you trust.

7. Jesus will help you find joy in the shadows of heartbreak.

When we’re left alone and feeling abandoned, it’s really hard to believe anyone knows what we’re going through. That may even be true of the good-intentioned people around you. It is not true of Jesus.

This Jesus came and was broken to give hope to the broken.

The joy is not in knowing that Jesus had it hard, too. Not much comfort there. The joy is in knowing that the one who suffered in your place died and rose again to end suffering for his saints. God saved the world and defeated death through his suffering, and your suffering in the midst of your walk with Jesus — in this case, in a breakup — unites you to that victory, the greatest victory ever won. We live, survive, and thrive by looking to him, “who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross” (Hebrews 12:2). His joy before the wrath of God against sin is our first and greatest reason to fight for joy — not just survival — after a breakup.

If you believe that, then make the most of this breakup, knowing God has chosen this particular path to grow  you in ways that last. No relationship you have in this life will last forever, but the good things that happen through them in you — even through their sorrows will last.

When your faith feels stale

We’ve all been there.

It’s been a while since you’ve had a “spiritual high,” but you aren’t running from God either. You attend church every week, you go to small group,you read your Bible regularly, but it’s started to feel more like a routine than like worship. God feels more like a distant concept than someone you’re in relationship with or someone you long to be with.

One of the most beautiful and frustrating aspects of the Christian life is the  flow of the seasons we go through. While we love to soak in the goodness of God while we are in a healthy place, we cry out in anger and frustration when God seems far away.

The most difficult season, and the one which so many Christians seem to battle through, is the dry season…the winter months. When our faith not only feels distant but dead. When no matter what we do, we find it impossible to connect with God in a meaningful, tangible way.

It can feel as if we're all alone, as if we are going through something no one has gone through before. The advice—to pray more, to press into God, to spend more time in His presence—is well-intentioned and good, but it risks creating more harm than benefits.

When we feel like God is distant, the advice to simply pray more does not help. We think: How do I pray, how do I cry out, to a God who isn’t near, who cannot hear me, who doesn’t want anything to do with me?

Yet often it seems that in those times, in those seasons of doubt and pain, we can find God and respond to Him in a more powerful way than ever before.

By returning to the basics of our faith, the fundamentals of what we believe, the simple things, we open ourselves up to a fresh revelation from God..a new glimpse of His glory and majesty. 

It is important to keep these five principles in mind. 

1. Pray God's Word back to Him.

When we feel like everything we know about God has disappeared and left us, it can be difficult to know where to begin when it comes to prayer. The simple act of praying God's Word back to Him can put us back in that place of prayer, surround us with the truth and promises of who He is and His love for us.

The Bible is full of truth and comfort for the darkest of seasons, so turning what we read back to God can lead us back to Him. The Psalms, in particular, are a powerful place to start. Choose a Psalm to pray back to God, pray the words as your own and wait for His voice.

2. Don't stop worshiping.

When God feels far away and things feel difficult, it can be easy to let the passion of our worship slip.

This isn't about how many times we raise our hands during a song, but about where our worship stems from. When we stop worshiping from the heart, we cease to give God the glory and honor He deserves and our darkest nights only get darker.

One of the most powerful ways of flighting our despair is to continue to worship and proclaim God's name and his power despite what season we may be in.

3. Stay connected to those around you who can lift you up.

It’s easy to feel unworthy when God feels distant. We can feel judged and ashamed about our lack of relationship with God, which makes us not want to share how we feel.

But the truth is we are not alone, and it is more than likely someone else in your close community is going through something similar, or has been recently. No matter how hard it seems, keep connected with those around you. And more importantly, be honest with them and share your situation with them.

4. Remember your worth.

Remembering your worth in God's eyes, your value to Him, can be life-changing. No matter how far away God feels, clinging to the truth and promise of His love for us, as His children, is vital. Whether that's through God's Word, through prayer or through the encouragements of others around you, planting your flag as a child of God not only pushes the enemy back, but takes you closer to God.

5. Look out for God working in ways you aren't expecting.

God doesn't always work in the ways we want Him to, but He does always work. When we find ourselves feeling desperate for Him in a dry season, we can miss His hand working in our lives. We become so focused on expecting Him to move in a specific way that we miss the small, daily ways He comes through for us.

Keeping our eyes—both spiritual and physical—open allows us to see Him move in incredible ways. 

As with all things in the Christian journey, there is no one formula to solve all our problems. But by staying faithful and focused on God, by seeking His presence and by continuing to seek Him in our pain, we recognize our worth in His eyes and our place in His Kingdom.

Letting go of the past and striving for what is ahead

Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it.  But one thing I do; Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus (Philippians 3:13-14).

How often do you talk with someone and hear about "what was" or "what could have been"? Not even in the short-term sense, but what may have happened years ago and why they can't do something now. Living like that is not forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead. It is allowing yesterday to jeopardize your life today.

Many of us seem to struggle with "forgetting the past," even at the time he wrote Philippians, Paul admits he hadn't mastered "forgetting" yet.  

We all have our "should haves," "could haves," and "what ifs" in life, and we can learn from them and use them to grow without letting them ruin our progress, but we need to "forget" in a sense "what could have been" and look toward "what can be."

Maybe things were "easier" back then, maybe we had "more," maybe we had "somebody," but we can't try to live both in the past and in the present.

We each have to decide where we are going to live—in the past where things "were," or in the present seeking the amazing life Jesus has planned for us. Paul shared with us where he was striving to live.

I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things (Philippians 3:8).

For each day we don't live knowing and growing in Christ, we are losing time, effort and the opportunity to do so, as well as not achieving our God-given potential.

Before we can expect to experience the new life God has for us (by pressing on and straining toward what is ahead), we have to determine, deal with and forget the things which have held us back (or controlled us) for so long. Leave the past in the past. Learn from your mistakes, don't carry any regrets and live for today. 

We need to have the faith to trust God enough to let go of the old and embrace the new. We won't be able to walk into the future if we have a foot in the past.

It's time to break the mold

           "I'm not pretty enough." "I'm just plain old ugly." "I'm too fat." "I'm worthless." "No one likes me." "I wish i was like her." "No one even notices me."  "Why am I even here?" "No one would even care if I was gone."
I think it's right to say that most teen age girls living in this day and age have at one point felt this way. I think it is also right to say that many young Christian teen girls have even felt this way. I don't blame them for thinking those things. Society has decided that a being a size 0 yet also being well endowed at the same time (kind of impossible), having the perfect hairstyle and color (which changes every week!) and also keeping up with the latest fashion trends (walking around half naked) is absolute perfection. It doesn't matter if you are intelligent, if you are a people person,if you are just a really friendly girl that enjoys life, or if you are a size 6 with frizzy hair and you like to wear jeans and a t-shirt. In order to be perfect we all feel forced to be put into this mold.
     Most Teens generally do not like being told what they have to do and hate not being able to do what they want, when they want to do it. So why then are we forcing ourselves to be put into this mold? Why can't we all just do what we want and be who we want to be? O yeah that's right, society would not like that too much. You might actually get laughed at for being YOU. Wow that sounds like a group whose mold I'd like to join... NOT. Why is it so hard for us teens to see that society's mold offers absolutely NOTHING for us? Society says that if you join our mold, you will have great looks, great relationships and you'll always have a great time. Well let's just look at theses statistics for a minute. Suicide is the third leading cause of
death among adolescents and teenagers. 1 in every 5 teens have thoughts about suicide. Also, about 1 in 6 teens have already made plans for their own suicide. More than 1 in 12 teens have attempted suicide in the last year. So according to these statistics I'd say that fitting into the mold isn't really all it's cracked up to be. 
     So you're thinking "ok, maybe you're right.. society's mold kind of stinks and doesn't have much to offer, but what other choice do we have?" Thankfully,there is a MUCH better choice then having to fit into a mold with billions of other teens and basically becoming a robot that doesn't have a mind or emotions of it's own.
     That Choice is the choice to just be YOU.Sounds ridiculously simple.. That's probably because it is!!! YOU were created in the image of God(Genesis 1:27). YOU were created to stand out. YOU have a purpose for being on this earth(Isaiah 43:7). YOU are beautiful in God's eyes.(Song of Solomon 4:7) 
God offers you eternal life. He promises a life of trials but He also promises us that those trials will be nothing in comparison to the joys and blessings of Heaven. Why wouldn't you want to just be yourself and have the freedom to be who you are especially when it's so simple? 
    It comes down to two choices and The choice is yours. Are you going to go back to society's mold? Continue to Be offered wonderful promises that can never truly be fulfilled? Live your life never truly feeling satisfied? Or are you going to be YOU?.... a unique person who is beautiful in God's eyes. Some one who was put on this earth for a reason and one who was  bought and purchased by the blood of Christ.

"YOU were made to fill a purpose that only YOU could do, so there could never be a more beautiful YOU."-Johnny Diaz 
 

Inkblot to butterfly

"It is a gift to be able to turn an ink blot into a butterfly.” What does this statement mean? Well for me it means a number of things. We all make mistakes in life and we all go through trials, but what really matters is what we learn from those mistakes and hardships. I have made many mistakes in my life and have had many difficult times but I can truly say that I have learned from all of those mistakes and trials.

   An example comes to my mind. I love basketball with a passion. I love it more than almost anything in the world. Well this year I damaged my foot pretty badly during basketball and was out for the rest of the season due to the extent of the damage on my foot. I had to go to physical therapy and at the time I was really upset about that. When I first started going to physical therapy I thought it was the worst thing in the world, plus I wasn’t able to play my favorite sport in the whole world, I wasn’t able to do what I loved. At the time to be honest, it sucked, but looking back on it now I realize that because I couldn’t play I learned to rely on my teammates and to have faith in them. I realized that basketball isn’t just about one person, it is a team effort. This is just one way that my ink blot was turned into a butterfly.

 We all have made mistakes in life and we all have trials. We have all  have made those horrible looking ink blots that ruin everything, but we all have the power to change those ink blots into something beautiful and something great. Will you change those ink blots into something great or will you let them ruin your life? The choice is yours.